I think it’s safe to say that every person on this planet
has felt anxious at one point or another. It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous
about something, especially if it is something that is pushing the boundaries of
your comfort zone. Letting that anxiousness control you, however, can be
extremely damaging to your mental health and your overall quality of life. It isn’t
easy, especially if you suffer from an anxiety disorder. (**side note; don’t self-diagnose
yourself with a disorder. You can experience anxiety without having a disorder.
Leave the diagnosing to the professionals!)
Now, I am not going to delve into my own personal
experiences per say, but I thought it would be beneficial if I shared some of
my tips as to how to deal with anxiety in college. These tips are things that
work for me personally, and they may not work for you. If you have trouble
controlling your anxiety, please seek help. When you are at college, it is
important to check in with yourself from time to time. Mental health is just as
important as physical health. And just as in the case of physical health, if
something is wrong, seek help!!!!
It is important to know that any form of anxiousness is
manageable. It is all about learning healthy coping skills.
Here are some of my tips; I hope they help J
Make Appointments with the Counseling Center
A lot
of colleges have free counseling services. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT! These are
places where you can just sit down and vent about your day to an objective party.
You don’t have to have some sort of trauma to go to the counseling center. You
can go there simply because you need someone to listen to you. They always have great advice.
Don’t be
embarrassed about going to the counseling center. You’d be surprised at how
many people go there. It’s a safe place and a judgement free zone. (and no I am
not just saying that because I am going into the mental health field)
So my
advice? Go take the initiative and make an appointment. You’ll be surprised at
how much better you’ll feel when you don’t have to keep everything all bottled
up inside.
Make Lists
Another
great way to deal with anxiety is to make lists. For me personally, I get very
overwhelmed whenever I feel too overloaded with work. I make lists to
de-clutter my mind. It enables me to have a clear outlook on my day and it
makes me feel more in control. (a big cause of anxiety is that feeling of lack
of control, so find little things that help you to gain back control)
Lists not
only help to organize your thoughts, but they also (in my experience) make you
feel productive. There is nothing more satisfying then crossing off items on my
list.
Meditate
Ok, I know
this sounds weird. I mean, who seriously has time for meditating? Let me tell
you honeybee, everyone has got time for meditating. I don’t care how busy your
schedule is, it is imperative that you take time for yourself. Meditation is a
great tool to check back in with yourself; it helps to ground you. It calms you
down and is a great method to de-clutter your mind.
There
are so many different types of meditation. You can go on YouTube and find
hundreds of meditations for all sorts of different purposes. In my own life, I’ve
used meditation to help me fall asleep (those rolling wave sounds are so soothing).
Anxiety
often overwhelms a person to the point where he or she cannot function.
Meditation is a great tool to alleviate some of that anxiety. Personally, I love
the meditation that uses mental images. These use dialogues that tell a story
to help you visualize yourself in a safe place where all your stressors can
float away.
But in order for this to work, you have to really commit to
it. Pay attention to what the speaker says and really follow the directions.
Like with anything, meditation will only be helpful if you want it to be
helpful. It’s all about will-power.
Nervous about meeting new people?
Don’t you
worry, honeybee.
First
off, it’s ok to have alone time. This isn’t high school; no one will judge you
if you eat lunch alone. There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself.
Despite the pressure to be social in college, you can actually have time for
yourself. In fact, I encourage it. This doesn’t mean isolate yourself, though.
It just means knowing that you don’t always have to be surrounded by people to
be content.
But how
do you go about meeting people?
Start
off with people in classes; you all have something in common: you’re all taking
the same course! This opens up so much room for conversation. Ask about the homework,
to borrow a pen, and most importantly: COMPLAIN ABOUT THE CLASS. Nothing brings
people together more than kvetching.
You’re
also not obligated to make conversation with people; just because you are
sitting next to someone in class does not mean you gotta start some small talk.
But, if you want to strike up a conversation with a classmate, and you’re
nervous; just try to engage them with stuff about the course. I guarantee they
will have something to say.
Let your professors know if you have anxiety
This is
extremely important, especially if participation or class presentations impact
your grade. Professors want you to be successful and they want to be there to
help you. I know it’s scary to open up to someone but you have to let your
professors know if you are struggling. Anxiety isn’t something that should be
used as an excuse to get out of work. But if you are genuinely struggling, the
professors may be able to accommodate you.
Send
them an email if speaking face-to-face is too overwhelming. They will
understand. Keep in mind, they may require a note from a professional for
validation purposes (hmmmm I wonder where you could go…OH RIGHT, GET YOUR CUTE
BEHIND TO THE COUNSELING CENTER HONEYBEES)
Breathe.
I
cannot emphasize this enough.
Whenever you feel anxious, you need to BREATHE. It’s amazing
what slow, deep breaths can do. It wont solve all of your problems, but it will
most definitely help to calm you down and slow your heartbeat. It’s difficult
to concentrate when you're pulse is rushing to the point where you feel like you’ve
been exercising for hours (even though you haven’t). This is why paying
attention to your breathing will help.
It
enables you to slow yourself down and refocus on the present.
Don’t overwhelm yourself
Take every day, every moment, one step at a time.
Learn to ground yourself. This is a tool often used in meditation. When you feel overwhelmed, it is important to take yourself back to the present.
If something made you anxious or uncomfortable, don’t ignore it. Take the time to evaluate the situation and think about how it made you feel. It is important to stay in-tune with yourself.
Make a Habit of Loving Yourself
This is
so important. It breaks my heart when people cant see how absolutely wonderful
they are. And trust me, you are all absolutely wonderful. But it isn’t enough
to hear it from an outside source. You have to believe it. I get it, sometimes
this isn’t easy. But it’s something that everyone needs to learn.
You are
important. You are worthy. You deserve happiness.
Whatever struggle you are going through, you will get
through it. Don’t do yourself the injustice of continuously comparing yourself
to others. Take the time to really love yourself. Because you are so damn important,
honeybee.
Someone
once told me to keep a journal that was solely for positive thoughts. Every day
I would document why I love myself. The entries were so uplifting and it made
me feel better about myself on those icky days. Sometimes, the entry would be
as simple as “I love myself because I participated in class today.” (it may
seem like a small achievement, but it was really important to me!)
Give it a try. Just start each entry with “I love myself
today because…” If you keep repeating this to yourself, self-love will become
more natural and you will realize that there are infinite reasons why you
should love yourself.
Celebrate Small Achievements
In today’s society, I don’t think people spend enough time really appreciating the little things. And no, I am not telling you to go and smell the roses. I’m telling you to pat yourself on the back once in a while because every darn day you achieve something and you deserve to be applauded for it.
What are these achievements?
There are too many to count. Give yourself some love, you’ve earned it.
College is a very social atmosphere and that can be really intimidating. Some days it might just feel too overwhelming and you’d rather just isolate yourself instead. But you know what? The fact that you got up, went to class and participated in the world means that you are taking control of your life. You don’t have to be crazy social and involved in every single campus organization. You don’t have to attend all the parties. But that doesn’t mean you cant find little ways to push yourself to go outside of your comfort zone. This could be something as simple as participating in class or engaging your neighbor in conversation. Those little things should be celebrated. Because for someone struggling with anxiety, those little things aren’t easy. Just know that you CAN do it. Start out slow and be proud of yourself. Every little step counts.
Find a coping mechanism
There are
so many techniques that you can do to help alleviate some of your anxiety. These
coping mechanisms should be healthy ways to help calm you down. Please avoid
doing things that could cause you harm as a means to deal with anxiety or other
struggles.
I’ve provided a list of some coping mechanisms that I’ve
learned over the years.
Experiment with these and see what works for you. It is
all about you feeling better. If you are having trouble developing these
skills, don’t worry about it. As the name implies, it is a skill and must be
learned. This is where the counseling center comes in. These people will help
you develop the skills to find healthy means of dealing with stress and
anxiety.
Here’s my list:
- Call home (a chat with mom and dad makes all the difference)
- Sketch
- Play music or Listen to music
- Read (I highly recommend Outlander by Diana Gabaldon)
- Go for walks
- Play with that magic therapy sand
- And my personal favorite: color. (I will be posting an article about why I love to color, soon)
All in all, it is so important for you to keep track of your
mental health. Take advantage of the counseling services provided by your
school; they are there to help. Remember that feeling anxious is a part of life.
But that doesn’t mean that it has to control you. There are so many ways that
you can help keep your anxieties under control. Even though life may seem
overwhelming (especially at college), you can and will be able to push through
all of the craziness. It may take time to develop the skills to learn how to
cope with stress, but it is worth the effort.
And now, I leave you
with this little note. Your life is precious. Be proud of yourself for taking
small steps to go outside of your comfort zone (even if you don’t go far). But
most importantly, remember to love yourself.
***disclaimer: i do not own these images; they are the property of their respective owners























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