On Writing

I think that it is safe to say that ever since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to be an author. It's something that I've always kept close to my heart; but in truth, I never really discussed it with many people. I feel as if a lot of non-writer folks consider writing to just be a hobby. And for many, it is. But for me, writing has always been important to me. And I think that my fear of having people read my work has stopped me from really pursuing my dream of becoming a published author. Sure, I have no problem with people reading my academic writing or even my blog writing. The reason? My heart and soul is not poured into these works. But my creative writing? Oh Lord that's a completely different ballgame. On these posts, I'm just writing a narrative about my opinion on things. I am basically just word-vomiting because I enjoy putting my thoughts on a page.

But when it comes to writing a novel, there is so much more involved than mere chunks of word-vomit. Especially when you have that initial spark of inspiration, it is so frustrating to find a suitable place to get started. Part of me just wants to dive straight in, and the other part of me wants to carefully plan each and every scene. Even though I have a basic concept of how I want my story to go, the actual journey is so much more complicated that I originally thought. My characters, for instance, I just don't feel like I'm doing them justice if I start to write their story without fully understanding them as individuals. Sure, I may know what they look like, but the real authenticity of a novel stems from an author knowing every little detail about his or her characters: what is her biggest insecurity? what are her goals? who is his role model? how does he speak? how would they react in situation x? 

All of these questions flutter around my brain and it is difficult to find the time to really sit down and flush out the answers. 

Today, I started my manuscript. And to be honest, the 1000 words that I wrote were absolute CRAP! (but at least I wrote!) What I learned from this experience was that I really need to have a better grasp on my characters before I throw them into situations. For example, the main catalyst that sets my whole plot into motion stems from an argument that my protagonist has with her brother. But on rereading my work (and even as I was writing it) I felt no emotional attachment to the words on the page. And if I, the author, feel nothing, then certainly my readers wont either.

Now obviously this is just a first draft. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't put in 110% every time I sit down to write. I am by no means striving for perfection. But I have come to realize that this story that I am writing is not mine. It's my characters'. And I owe it to them to tell it the best way that I can. And even though I am dying to just pants my way through the story, I just can't do that. My favorite authors are those who can answer without any hesitation how their character would react if placed in any given situation (even if that situation was how would your character use instagram?). I think that for me personally, I should hold off on my first draft manuscript until I can answer those questions at least on a preliminary basis (I realize that as I write the story, I will discover new things about my characters that I never anticipated).

But what does writing a novel truly mean? Well, if I eventually want to get published then I sure as hell better start treating this as a job. But not just some obligatory job. This is a job that I am fully devoted to and passionate about. The more I build my story, the more I am filled with the desire to become a published author. And though I don't expect to become the next J. K Rowling, I want nothing more than to have my name printed on the cover of a physical book. 

So, if you ever have the desire to write a book- here's my best advice: DO IT. There's no excuse. Whether you're a full time college student or a full time parent, if you are passionate about something, then there is no excuse to not get it done. The journey may be long and painful, but the rewards are eternal. Writing everyday may be difficult and the proverbial creative well may dry up from time to time, but if you want something badly enough, nothing can get in your way of achieving it.

Now, like all of my blog posts, this was basically just my own form of therapy to sort out my thoughts. You'll have to forgive the stream-of-consciousness style of writing,  as I do not plan out my posts. In all reality, I use this forum as a way to motivate myself (...and by no means is this me procrastinating on studying...)

Anyway, that's all from me today.

Best,

Lizzie